She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
