Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
