His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
