I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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