Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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