You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
