Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
