It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
