I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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