Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
