just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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