I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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