I smell stomach acid.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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