yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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