ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
