Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Randomize
