So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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