took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
