I just gift wrapped bread.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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