I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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