Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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