Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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