So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
well you can't waste a boner
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
