Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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