I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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