I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
