I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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