i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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