When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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