Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
