I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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