she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
