what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
