I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
