I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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