Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
