Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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