K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
