3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
