Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Randomize
