the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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