..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
