But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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