So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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