that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
