Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
