Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
