P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
