The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
