It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize