I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
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sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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