i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
