addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
you never un-have a 4some
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