I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
