They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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